Perth,
Western Australia
May 10, 2008
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At heart, we're village people
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As a mother and a GP with a special interest in women's health, I really feel for the mother from Loch Street ("The day I received the bad mother lecture", POST letters, 26/4)), and I applaud her bravery in speaking out. Our society has a rate of post-natal depression in mothers of one in four, and a very high rate in fathers too. Humans evolved in a tribal setting, where there were multiple caring adults on hand - and the old African saying, "It takes a whole village to raise a child", is very true. Nuclear families are anti-evolutionary, and even in families where relatives try to help, our culture makes it difficult for mothers (and some fathers) to safely relinquish bits of responsibilty. We desperately need to reinvent "the village". For an individual family, this may involve good day care, supportive friends, a professional team (child health nurse, GP etc), extended family when available and even shop assistants and other relative strangers who may be seen frequently. We mothers need to learn how to harness support that is there, and the rest of the "village" needs to recognise what an incredibly hard job parenting is, and support without judgment wherever they can. Guilt is born with the baby and never completely leaves - extra from external sources can only undermine a situation that may already be very strained. If we are to bring up a healthy next generation we ALL need to work together, positively! Jane Ralls |
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