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Perth, |
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Uptight sex ideas are unhealthy
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Oral sex is an excellent way to spread infections, but so is mouth-to-mouth kissing. I am surprised the health officials you contacted did not point this out. When I grew up in Holland very many years ago, we had dancing classes and no single-sex schools. There were many things that boys and girls did together. We were taught safe sex at a very young age by not kissing mouth-to-mouth, by not having oral sex, but by giving hand jobs after lots of cuddling. We were also taught that promiscuous - and unsafe - sex was to be avoided. You were encouraged to find a partner and you were given the opportunity to spend the night together, for example over the weekend, at an early age. That was the case when I started over 50 years ago. But it was the same when my parents started before 1920. Sleep-over parties for children were never single-sex. Only after you had established a good relationship would you consider mouth-to-mouth kissing. When it came to having intercourse, you went to a jeweller who made you a silver cervical cap that looked a little bit like a thimble. It was very reliable and much more attractive compared with condoms. The pill had not been invented. We started drinking at a very young age but at home and in the family - first, a very small wine glass with about three-quarters water and a quarter wine. I remember going to visit our English upper-class family in rural England with my sisters. At their parties all the boys were at one end and all the girls at the other end. I would go up to the girls and talk with them and my sisters would go to the boys and talk with them. We were amazed at the drinking habits of our English cousins. My aunt would tell us afterwards that we were forward! When I came to Australia I was shocked to find that most blokes were virgins well into their 20s. That certainly has changed, but society has not adapted and made it safe and appropriate for young people to develop healthy sexual practices. When I came to Australia, local drinking habits were arcane from my point of view. You would not consider driving at closing time then. In Holland, you would go to jail for drink driving - there, it is considered antisocial behaviour. Sending your daughter to a party with pre-mixed drinks in cans to me is barbaric and uncivilised. What is wrong with sharing a bottle of bubbly with proper glasses at a party? Talk with your children, trust them and support them and give them guidelines, but also much freedom. Bart Benschop Queenslea Drive, Claremont |
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